(And never fight fair)
Let’s begin by saying that you must have a clear concept of what a fight is.
Not all fights involve trading punches; sometimes you can find fights even when going after a job opening. You must know what is it that you consider a fight, what kind of things would you deem worthy of fighting for, and do not diminish the meaning of the word fight.
To me, a fight is when you are going for an objective and on the way; there are one or more entities that are actively working against you. It differs from a competition, in that the latter involves two or more entities working towards a goal.
I make this clarification, because while fist fights are pretty straightforward, our society and the way it is conformed enable the existence of fights that are usually fought unseen.
We’ve seen it time and again, job promotions, trials, work projects, etc. unless you’ve been extremely lucky, you may have met that one person at some point, who will actively try to harm you, it can be physically, morally, mentally, etc.
It can be a neighbor, a coworker, a schoolmate, family members, clients, etc.
And this often works because we are taught that good guys fight fair, that the bad guy is the unfair one and that, in the end, fighting fair wins the day…but reality is rarely that pretty.
No one remembers the guy who lost the fight because his opponent kicked him in the groin, people will only remember the guy who lost the fight…period.
No one remembers the guy who lost the job because a coworker lied and he was too nice to call him out, people only remember the guy that got fired…period.
Some time ago, a student came to me with a YouTube video where a man and his girlfriend are aggressively confronted by three guys, at an early point in the video, it is clear that the situation has crossed the line where it can already be considered a fight, the man keeps trying to defuse the situation until his girlfriend is hit, he then picks up a pipe and the three thugs back away, then one of the thugs calls him out for a one on one fight.
The “good guy” accepts, leaves the pipe and begins trading punches with the thug…he starts getting the upper hand until he then is jumped by the other two, in the end, both he and his girlfriend (who tried to intervene) end up beaten.
My student asked me, “What would you do in a situation like that?”
Photo: by mark sebastian
This post is not a combat lesson, so I won’t go into all the ways he could have ended the situation sooner, but I will instead point out to the fact that the situation was already bad by the time he picked up the pipe, at that point he should have pummeled his way out, it was already a fight, his wellbeing (and his girlfriend) was on the line and he had just gained an advantage, dropping his only deterrent and trying to fight fair with guys who had started an unfair fight was poor judgment.
But this example is only a reflection of something that happens every day in many different scenarios, from the lying coworker to the aggressive drunkard, some people will actively try to harm us and then appeal to our good nature if for some reason they find themselves in disadvantage.
I’d like for this to be a book of sunshine and glitter, I’d like to go with the generic and widely used
“ignore them and they’ll go away” but that’s a big pile of fearful nonsense and that’s why I started this entry asking the reader to define what they deem worthy to fight for.
This rule requires for the reader to know, that petty things like a guy jumping queue or a car cutting into traffic are not situations worthy of a fight.
Because when something steps into the realm of a fight, then you do everything you can to make sure that your opponent will go down and won’t get back up, , because ultimately, “fair fight” is just an oxymoron…
There is no such thing as a fair fight.
That’s it for this post; let me know what you think and what life rules you’ve found in your path! You can leave a comment below or send me a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know your thoughts or what you’d like to see posted in the future! Thanks for reading and see you next post!!