Today’s post originated from an e-mail sent by a reader (thank you), the thing is, the mail mentioned how hard it was to “give it all you’ve got” because “life seems unfair and people seem to be always against us”, I’m not going to post any further details, whether you believe it or not, I do keep your mails confidential (unless I get your permission to post them)
Anyway, I’ll take this occasion (and post) to write some non-codex rules about life, be warned, this are not pretty, but they are true rules I’ve learned through the years (which I seem to be collecting already), so even if they sound harsh, sociopath and what-not, they are actually honest and real, and things get way easier once we accept them and deal with it, after all, despite the fact that I always try to keep a positive attitude, I’ve indeed found that the world can be a pretty dark place.
That being said, let’s begin:
1.-Being a positive, altruistic, caring person it’s OK. Just don’t expect anyone to give you extra points for it.
Those among you who have met me know that I keep certain “Hobbies” intended to change the world…but I keep those hobbies out of my own conviction and that’s it, people don’t really care at all how many people you’ve taught things, how many disaster zones you’ve helped, how many trees you’ve planted, etc.
Out there, in the “real” world, it doesn’t really matter if you are a good guy or a bad guy, if you are a good father/mother, good son/daughter, if you have dreams, etc.
The world is moved by money, by business, if you can bring an income, bring profit, you are in, otherwise, you are out.
So, it’s completely OK if you want to help the world, but don’t expect the world to help you, if you fall, no one is going to help you up, so make sure you have both feet firmly planted on the ground before you try to help someone get up, because you never really know if and when someone will to try to trip you, yes, it’s true, you can get lucky and find good, awesome, remarkable people, but…do you really want to bet everything on a small chance?
2.-The world cares…for what it can get out of you…that’s it.
Just like our previous point, we live in a society, a society full of people, people that need/want stuff, so as long as you can generate benefit for someone, you are part of the team, they don’t really care how you treat people, what are your values, what kind of guy you are, etc.
If you don’t believe me, just watch how there are people occupying important jobs and they are rude, they lack morals, they are flooded with vice, they break the rules, etc. (yes, I know there are also exceptions), but the point is, no matter how worthless of a person they are, they keep the job, no matter what they do, until the moment they fail to produce benefit for the right people, the minute that happens, they are out.
This is the core reason why a doctor gets more respect than a writer, or a lawyer than a painter, yes, all of them are jobs and they all deserve respect, but guess which ones generate more benefits?
Another example would be companies that sell fast food, cigarettes, etc. they get thousands of lawsuits and rumors about the damage caused by their products, yet they continue to sell millions, why? Because they sell what people want, it is THAT simple.
3.-Who you are on the inside only matters as long as it generates on the outside!
Trough the time, I’ve met people who claim to be musicians, writers, etc. Yet, in all the years I’ve known them most of them have not even tried to compose or write anything, they keep a completely unrelated job, and they stay there…the end.
For example, we all know someone who says something like “I want to have my own business”, yet, they fail to take that one small step required to have a business, which is: TO START A BUSINESS!! (Or at least try)
Metaphorically speaking, who we are inside would be like an Apple tree, yeah it is pretty and nice, and who we are inside are the apples, what kind of orchard would keep and apple tree that does not give apples? None (or a really bad one)
This rule is valid, not only in the “real” world, but also on the “ideal” world where people say things like “I care about the poor, the environment, etc” but you never really see them plant a tree, volunteer for a cause even run a fundraiser.
So, to put it bluntly, The tree is only as good as the fruit it gives.
4.-The world has many dangerous enemies, but the most dangerous of them all, is YOU.
I believe this to be the most important rule, because, who can deceive us better than ourselves?
Our subconscious mind is way more active than we credit it for, and it is always looking for new ways to avoid change, after, all we do come to the world equipped with a preservation instinct, which can also , if unchecked, become a “staying in the comfort zone instinct”, here are a couple of familiar examples:
-We take a critic, as an insult or even as an aggression: “What the hell so you mean I’m a bit lazy? Who are you to judge me? Why don’t you judge your own life instead?”
-Take any slight change as if it would change the very essence of who we are: What do you mean start exercising, I guess you also propose I drop my hobbies , and my TV shows, and start doing what everyone else does, wouldn’t you like that huh? Well, you sir, can forget it!”
-Convince ourselves that we can change…late: I should indeed start exercising, but it’s cold outside, and I’m tired, i just did the dishes after all , I’ll start tomorrow, for sure, but wait, isn’t tomorrow Friday? I want to rest for the weekend…it’s decided then, I’ll start next Monday…no wait…next Monday is my cousin’s friend birthday, I can’t go all sore to the party………
-Make excuses for our present based on our past:Well, so far I’m not doing so good, but I’m not doing THAT bad, if I try to start a business now it could fail, and I don’t really want that, better play it safe, I may win the lottery next week.
-Focus on the person instead of the advice: Bwahahaha YOU are telling me to save money? I just saw you buying a can of soda; I can’t take financial advice from a big spender like you! Have a good day sir….
5.-Things can change, but we have to cause them to change.
As I was previously saying (writing…) the world care about what you can do, not what you want to do.
“But I don’t know how to do it”, is a common excuse, the good news is, just as it is with playing an instrument, if you practice enough, you will eventually know how to do it and even become very good at it.
Practice makes perfect, and if you constantly try to improve, you will improve, if you do nothing instead….well, you will do nothing! It’s that simple.
Picture this: Car accident, there’s one person injured, people gather around, and even when they all WANT to help, no one CAN, because no one KNOWS how.
This is valid in every area of your life, you don’t need to be a doctor to know about first aid, or a mechanic to know about cars, or an explorer to know how to start a fire, yes, you may never actually use some stuff you learn, but, if the situation comes, you will be ABLE to do something.
Finishing with today’s post, I’d like to put one of my favorite quotes:
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”
So, the way I see it, everything life throws at us are challenges, and everything we know and can do is our strength, the stronger we get, the easier we can overcome those challenges, simple as that, it is okay to complain every now and then, we all need to blow some steam at times (I know I do)
And yes, life is unfair, but it is unfair for everyone, so stop waiting for things to get better, make them better, stop waiting for someone to come and help you and instead strive to be the one person that comes and help.
That’s it for this post; let me know what you think and what life rules you’ve found in your path! You can leave a comment below or send me a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know your thoughts or what you’d like to see posted in the future! Thanks for reading and see you next post!